


It's A Never-Ending Helter-Skelter

by runaway_train



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Circus, Desert Island, Explicit Language, Flirting, Fluff, M/M, OT5 Friendship (One Direction), Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 19:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21081773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runaway_train/pseuds/runaway_train
Summary: Harry coughs again, confused. There’s a good chance he’s going about this questioning thing in completely the wrong order. He looks at his surroundings. He’s on a beach. A very beautiful but very empty beach. There’s nothing but white sand in either direction until it curves around and disappears into the luscious green of the tropical forest behind them. “Where am I?” he asks. For some unknown reason that Harry would never be able to articulate, he instantly trusts Niall.Niall scratches at his cheek. “Uh… Well you see, that’s a bit more complicated. What’s the last thing you remember?”OrThe one where Harry winds up on a desert island with a bunch of circus performers and it might just be the best thing that's ever happened to him.





	It's A Never-Ending Helter-Skelter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [graceling_in_a_suit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/graceling_in_a_suit/gifts).

> This fic was written as part of the [1D Ridiculous Fic Exchange](https://1dridicficexchange.tumblr.com/). Make sure you check out all the other great fics in the collection!
> 
> El, I'm sorry this is late and it might not be what you expected but I hope you like it!
> 
> Thank you to [Molly](https://becomeawendybird.tumblr.com/), [Edi](https://bitter-leaf.tumblr.com/) and [Sarah](https://musiclily.tumblr.com/) for the super quick beta! And a massive thank you to [Dee](https://jacaranda-bloom.tumblr.com/), my rock, who if it weren't for her continuous support and encouragement I would probably never get anything written. 
> 
> I have a Tumblr which is [here](http://runaway-train-works.tumblr.com) if you want to come say hello. The specific post for the fic is [here](https://runaway-train-works.tumblr.com/post/188493263020/its-a-never-ending-helter-skelter-written-as-part).
> 
> Title taken from [Paradise](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOwihbur34E) by George Ezra.

Sand.

So much sand. Everywhere. 

Now, normally Harry isn’t completely averse to a bit of sand. He hasn’t had a chance to have it between his toes or run it through his fingers all too often in his lifetime, but he can understand the appeal, when it’s soft and warm and clean, when you can rake your hands or a shell or a stick through it and make shapes, spell your name, build sandcastles, that sort of thing.

What Harry doesn’t like is when it’s damp, you know, when it’s wet and clinging to his clothes, his skin, when there’s sand coating the inside of his fucking mouth. He coughs violently, rolling onto his side as soggy clumps of grit spray from his lips down onto yet more bloody sand. Someone pats his back almost immediately. 

“There, there, get it all out o’ yah.”

Harry raises his hand to wipe the remnants away from his face, spit dribbling down his chin. His limbs feel heavy, his head too, unable to form coherent thoughts just yet. 

“You want some water?”

He grunts a response, rubbing at his eyes in the blinding sunlight as he attempts to sit up. He gives up when his head swims and flops back down on his back, breathing heavily.

“Who are you?” Harry rasps out eventually, throat burning with the effort as he opens up one eye to stare at the stranger beside him. The man holds out a glass bottle in front of Harry with a huge grin. 

“Name’s Niall. Top o’ the mornin’ to yah!”

“Are you,” Harry clears his throat again and makes another attempt to sit up, this time successfully. He grabs the bottle and takes a swig, not really caring what’s inside but pleased to find it’s water. He swirls the tepid liquid around and spits it off to the side before swallowing down a couple of big gulps. “Are you actually Irish?” He wipes his mouth, with the back of his hand this time, and offers the bottle back. 

Niall doesn’t take it, instead choosing to look perturbed. “Uh, yeah?”

Harry shrugs his shoulders. “Mmmm, sounded a bit fake. Didn’t think Irish people actually said ‘top o’ the mornin’.” He looks Niall up and down as best he can from their positions. Niall’s crouched beside him, skin a deep gold against white shorts and a light blue polo shirt, his heavily bearded face a happy one. 

Harry’s head is thumping and he brings a hand up to rub at his temples while he attempts to get his bearings back. His clothes are wet. Why are his clothes wet? 

“Why would I fake an Irish accent?” Niall challenges, his mouth still crooked with a smile. 

“Dunno.” Harry coughs again, confused. There’s a good chance he’s going about this questioning thing in completely the wrong order. He looks at his surroundings. He’s on a beach. A very beautiful but very empty beach. There’s nothing but white sand in either direction until it curves around and disappears into the luscious green of the tropical forest behind them. “Where am I?” he asks. For some unknown reason that Harry would never be able to articulate, he instantly trusts Niall.

Niall scratches at his cheek. “Uh… Well you see, that’s a bit more complicated. What’s the last thing you remember?”

Harry takes a deep breath and tries to think back. It’s really quite stifling when the sun’s sitting high, sitting high in the sky and beating down without a single cloud to prevent its rays. He takes another swig from the bottle of water before he answers. “I was on the ship. It was getting dark and there was word of a storm approaching so the captain instructed all non-crew back to their cabins below deck. I fell asleep down there and um… I guess that’s the last thing I remember.” They must have docked somewhere? As far as Harry had been aware, there was at least a week to go before they were due to hit the continent. 

Niall nods to himself as if what Harry’s told him makes perfect sense. “Where was the ship travelling to?” he questions. 

“The US. New York.”

“Interesting....” he trails off. 

“Can you please tell me what’s going on?”

Niall sighs and looks up at the sky and back at the treeline behind them, considering. “You need to come with me so we can get you out of this sun. It’ll be a lot easier to explain everything back at camp.”

“Camp?”

“Yup. Camp.”

*****

It takes a while, particularly since Harry doesn’t have any shoes for reasons he hopes will be explained in full very shortly, and so Niall has to pretty much carry him through the thick vegetation until they arrive at a large clearing. There’s a huge makeshift hut on one side and a fire pit with benches formed of boulders and planks of wood around it on the other. Niall leads Harry over to one of the benches and plonks him down without any preamble. 

Niall straightens up and nods down to Harry. “What size are your feet?” 

“Uh, ten? Why?”

“Mmmm, thought as much.” Niall purses his lips briefly. “Not sure if we have anything that will fit you but I’ll have a look. And most of the clothing is medium. We’re all pretty small, except Liam, but Liam likes to wear mediums. Don’t tell him I said this but I reckon it’s to show off his muscles to Zayn. Probably misses the leotards too, you know? The familiarity of the snug fit and all that.”

The sheer number of questions Harry has is racking up by the second.

Niall raises a finger in response to Harry’s alarmed expression. “One minute, I promise, I’ll explain everything.” He disappears off into the hut and Harry busies himself brushing off the excess sand that’s now dried and irritating the skin of his bare arms and legs. He runs a hand through his hair, the curls rough in texture from the salty water he suspects has brought him to this bizarre place. 

When Niall returns a moment later, he’s carrying some leather sandals and a yellow T-shirt. He hands them over and sits down opposite him as Harry busies himself pulling off his shirt, now damp from perspiration rather than water to replace it with the new clothing.

“So,” Harry encourages. 

“Uh so you see-” Niall’s explanation is drowned out by the arrival of two men, both laughing loudly as they crash their way through the undergrowth from the opposite end of the clearing. They stop dead when they both clock Harry and Niall at the exact same time. “Holy fuck!” the shorter man yelps, frantically nudging at his companion. “Liam, look, look, there’s another one!” 

The man, Liam, Harry assumes, swats him away. “I see that, I’m standing right here too, you know.” He tentatively steps forward. “Hello. I’m Liam,” he gestures to himself, “and this here is Louis,” gesturing behind him. 

Whether it’s the sound of his own name or something else entirely, Harry can’t be sure, but Louis stops gaping at Harry and springs to life again, elbowing Liam out of the way and stomping forward until there’s only a couple of feet between him and where Harry is sitting. His tan isn’t as deep as Niall’s but he’s got the facial hair and the beach attire down to a tee. “What’s your act?” 

Harry looks at Niall and back at Louis in confusion. “My act?”

Louis’ face scrunches into a scowl. “In the circus. What’s your act?”

“I’m not sure what you um-”

Louis’ arms up and cross tightly over his puffed-out chest. “Has Niall explained what’s going on?”

“I was just about to when you came back,” Niall attempts. 

The eye-roll is ridiculously exaggerated, as is the groan that leaves Louis’ mouth. “Fuck sake, Nialler.”

Niall shrugs. “Come on mate, it’s not exactly telling someone a bedtime story that they’re stranded on a desert island.”

Harry’s back straightens up. “Sorry, I’m what?”

“Stranded. Desert island. This will be a lot less painful if you keep up, mate,” Louis drawls. “So what’s your act?”

Harry frowns at Louis’ rudeness but decides to let it pass. “How do you know I’m from the circus?”

“Ha! I fucking knew it! You hear that Liam? I TOLD you. It’s a goddamn fucking conspiracy.”

Liam comes up to Louis’ side. “It does seem a bit odd.”

“Niall, can you please just tell me what the hell is going on?” Harry begs.

Niall shifts uncomfortably. “So, the thing is, we aren’t exactly sure. We’re on an island, somewhere in the southern Atlantic Ocean, and we keep turning up, one after the other. I was the first, was on my own for two months before Liam here turned up. Then Zayn, he’s at the big campfire right now, he arrived three weeks after that. Then Louis six weeks after that. That was three months ago. Now you.”

That’s not exactly ideal, Harry thinks. “Do any of you remember how you got here?”

“Nope.” Liam shakes his head, moving to sit down beside Niall. He’s wearing loose, lightweight trousers and a white vest that hugs his torso just so. He does have very defined muscles, covered in tattoos. ”Same as you. All of us were on ships that possibly ran into trouble and next thing you know, we wake up here.”

“That doesn’t explain how you know I’m in the circus.” Harry shifts to let Louis shuffle past him and sit down on his left. 

“Well, that’s the really odd thing. We’re _ all _in the circus. Or were. We’re pretty sure we’ve lost our jobs by now,” Niall tell him.

Harry shakes his head, looking at each of the men in turn to search for any evidence that this is all some giant joke or misunderstanding. He doesn’t find any. “That makes no sense. How does something like that even happen?”

Louis slaps his hand on Harry’s back and points towards Liam. “Exactly! See! Curly gets it! Why can’t you?”

“Because I don’t understand why anyone would conspire to collect a bunch of circus performers on a desert island,” Liam replies through gritted teeth. 

“Uh, m’names Harry and m’not a performer,” Harry mumbles, embarrassed to be mistaken for anyone with actual talent, not for the first time in his life. 

Niall looks confused again. “You just said you were?”

“No, I said I was in the circus, didn’t say I was a performer,” he clarifies. 

Louis twists, the puzzlement clear in his features. “So what do you do?”

“I look after all the animal acts.” It’s only now that Harry realises that if he’s wound up here, his animals may have run into trouble too. The thought makes him sick to his stomach. He resolves to not dwell until he’s got a better sense of what’s going on when his brain has caught up and his heart has stopped beating so damn fast. 

“I see.”

“What about you lot?” Harry asks them. 

Liam answers first, flexing his biceps in a way that’s probably meant to be subtle but isn’t. “I’m a tightrope walker and trapeze artist.”

Louis answers next, flicking his hair out of his face. “I’m an acrobat.”

“I’m an actor specialising in light comedic relief throughout the show,” Niall explains last.

“That Irish for ‘clown’ FYI,” Louis tacks on.

Niall crosses his arms and his body sags. “Well excuse me for wanting to bring a little dignity to the role.”

“And the Zeus guy?” Harry enquires. 

“Zayn, he’s a fire-breather.” 

Harry remembers Niall mentioning something about Liam and Zayn. He raises an eyebrow at Liam and quirks his lip. “Sounds hot.”

Liam grins and Niall guffaws, but Louis grumbles beside him, burying his face in his hands. “Oh dear God.”

“Don’t mind him, pet, you’re gonna fit in around here no problem.” Niall stands up and stretches his arms above his head, twisting his back with a yawn. “You up for the grand tour?”

Harry’s got plenty of experience with adapting to new surroundings and living situations pretty quickly but this is a lot to take in. Still, onwards and upwards. “Yup, bring it on.” 

*****

“So how are you finding your first week in paradise then?” 

Zayn comes to sit down beside Harry at the lip of the lagoon, mimicking his position and dipping his bare feet in the crystal clear water. Harry’s had a busy morning helping Liam collect firewood followed by a relaxing swim and a wash in the waterfall.

“Good thanks,” Harry says simply. Zayn doesn’t reply, eyeing Harry curiously before facing the water again. 

They sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes, listening instead to the low babble of wildlife coming from every direction. They’re right at the heart of the island, an area Harry had been introduced to on his third day, and it’s quickly becoming his favourite place to be. A colourful bird swoops down over the surface of the pool.

“It’s ok to be angry, you know, at the situation,” Zayn says eventually.

Harry leans back on his hands, feeling the damp rock beneath his palms, and looks up at the hundreds of pale blue cracks in the canopy of green above them. “And what situation is that?”

Zayn huffs out a laugh at Harry’s deliberately obtuse reply. “Being stuck here,” he says. 

“Wouldn’t do me much good, would it?”

Zayn shrugs. “Might fuel you I suppose, get you trying new ways to get us lot rescued or something.”

“But I thought you’d tried everything?” It hadn’t taken long for Harry to hear all about the raft building (swiftly followed by the raft sinking), the messages in bottles, the huge ‘help’ signs that might get seen from the air, the bonfire they keep burning 24/7 in case someone sees the smoke. Harry’s not sure what else he could add that they haven’t already thought of and attempted numerous times. 

“You never know.”

“Mmm.”

Harry likes Zayn. He likes all the guys he’s found himself with but there’s something about Zayn that makes him feel calm. He’s the quiet one but also the most profound in many ways. He only says things worth saying, doesn’t like filling up space with too much mindless dialogue. Harry gets that. 

“Sometimes I think Louis’ angry enough for all of us.” Harry gets that too, why Zayn might believe that. Louis’ desire to get rescued is all-consuming and his frustrations often show. 

Harry rolls some of the tension out of his neck. Sleeping in a hammock for the past few evenings is taking a toll on his muscles. “He’s not angry. He’s scared.”

Zayn glances back over his shoulder. “What makes you say that?”

Harry exhales and sits back up slowly so they are level again. “I’ve spent the last decade of my life trying to keep caged animals happy. You learn the difference.”

“You think Louis feels caged?”

Harry cocks his head to the side. “We’re surrounded by hundreds if not thousands of miles of ocean with no legitimate way of leaving. Don’t you feel a little caged?

Zayn picks up a few loose rocks from by his side and throws them high in the air one after the other so they each land in the water with distinct plops. “I try not to think about it too much. The gravity of it. Could make even the sanest person go mad, eh?”

“Yeah,” Harry nods. “I guess so.”

When Zayn pulls his t-shirt off and slides himself into the inviting water, it doesn’t take long for Harry to follow. 

*****

Harry can tell he’s testing Louis’ patience but it’s not like he can help it. “What?”

“I just…” Louis starts, scratching at his beard with one hand while the other rests on his cocked hip. Harry wishes he wouldn’t play with his facial hair so much. Harry’s been here two weeks now and he’s barely managed a light dusting on his upper lip and now he’s getting a complex about it because a lack of facial hair is what you worry about when you’re stranded on a desert island. Of fucking course it is. Harry decides to focus on the cocked hip instead.

“Yeah?” 

Louis’ eyes trail up and down Harry’s form as they stand opposite each other, both barefoot in the sand. “It’s like your legs are working completely independently from the rest of your body. It’s actually quite impressive how bad at this you are.”

Harry should probably be offended but he gets Louis’ point. “You could even say I’m _ wheely _ bad it.”

“Did you just making a cartwheeling joke?”

“Yes,” Harry confirms with zero shame. 

Louis’ mouth puckers as he suppresses the smile Harry can tell he’s fighting. “You’re awful.”

“I do try,” Harry returns with a wink. He spins around and straightens up, positioning himself just like Louis had instructed him to and takes a deep breath before attempting cartwheel number forty-three. 

It ends up being as horrific as cartwheels one through forty-two. Harry hopes it’s true that God does indeed loves a trier. 

“Maybe we should call it a day? Try again tomorrow?” Louis says, coming to sit down beside where Harry is now lying sprawled out. It’s late evening and the sun will be setting soon, but for now, Harry’s enjoying the burnt orange sky and the company. Knowing he’ll find sand in between his fingers and toes for days afterwards doesn’t bother him anymore. 

“So how long you been an acrobat for?” he asks Louis. 

Louis shifts a little, gazes down at his restless fingers and swallows before he answers. “Since I was about six. Was always really full of energy as a kid and a friend of my mum’s suggested she take me to a gymnastics class so I went and liked it and, as it turns out, I was pretty good. Would have tried to go into the competition side of things if I hadn’t busted my shoulder early on and needed surgery.” He pats his right shoulder in demonstration. “It’s fine now and everything but kinda missed my chance. Then I got into the performing side of things. What about you? How’d you end up looking after animals?”

“Just fell into it really. Friend of a friend needed help, I needed a job, that was that.” Feels like a lifetime ago now for Harry. He wonders how his charges are fairing, if they managed to make it onto dry land too, after what happened. He doesn’t even know what happened, which is the most awful thing. He tries to not let his mind wander to dark places, or imagine unspeakable things. 

“Fair enough.”

Harry watches Louis out of the corner of his eye. “I think you should show me,” he tells him after a pause. “One of your moves, I mean.”

Louis squints as he regards Harry. “You wanna see me doing one of my tumbles?”

Harry sits up and nods enthusiastically. “I do.”

Louis studies Harry’s face, possibly searching for any indication that Harry is taking the piss. “OK, fiiiiine,” Louis drawls eventually, acting inconvenienced but getting up quickly with a grunt and strolling away further down the beach, wiping the sand off his arse as he goes. When he turns back to face Harry, he makes a show of stretching himself out and cracking his neck from side to side. Harry watches avidly as he takes one final deep inhale and exhale and sets off running fast along the creamy shoreline and dives forward into the first tumble.

It doesn’t make sense to Harry, how someone can move like that. He’s seen acts like this a hundred times, sure, but it’s so quick, the way Louis does flip after flip after flip, some with straight legs, some with bent knees tucked up close, his frame twisting and turning so effortlessly it’s as if the air moves differently around his body to that of a normal human. It’s almost magical. 

And Harry can’t even do a bloody cartwheel.

“That was fucking sick!” Harry whoops when Louis finally comes to a stop, scrambling to his feet and running over to him. “Seriously, you were amazing!”

“Yeah?” Louis says a little out of breath. “Haven’t done anything like that in a long time. Since before I got here.”

The confession surprises Harry. “Really? Why not?”

Louis shrugs. “Dunno. No one else asked me I suppose. Nobody cares.”

“I don’t think it’s that true. Maybe they just thought you’d rather not, you know, think about back home and that,” Harry suggests carefully. 

Louis looks out to the ocean. “Maybe,” he murmurs. 

“You’re not upset I asked?” Harry reaches out and places his hand on Louis’ collarbone, squeezes, runs his thumb up and down the base of Louis’ neck where the skin smooth and golden. 

“No, felt good actually,” Louis admits. “Really good. Might even start practising a bit again, just for fun.”

Harry grins. His plan of asking Louis to teach him how to cartwheel was only meant to distract him for the afternoon but this is even more promising than Harry could have hoped. “I’ll be happy to be your spotter.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

***** 

Harry throws another couple of lumps of wood into the fire and sits back down, watching the flames sparkle and dance before subsiding again. He stretches his arms above his head and yawns, his belly comfortably full of fish and pineapple. It’s been a long day of repairing the roof of the hut with Liam after a particularly windy couple of nights caused some damage to one end of it.

“You got any theories yet?” Niall asks out of the blue from Harry’s left. They had been chatting mindlessly since dinner finished, with Liam and Zayn wandering off for some ‘alone’ time together and Louis going early to bed but had been quiet for the last few minutes. 

“About what?”

Niall does Harry the courtesy of not rolling his eyes. A month in and the lads are all now aware of Harry’s penchant for avoiding a direct answer to a question, even if it’s not deliberate. “About why we’re all here?”

“Not really. It’s kinda too bizarre to comprehend ain’t it?” And it is too bizarre. No sign of rescue in months and months, yet the shore is constantly awash with bits of shipwrecks, items of use, the odd storage trunk, the odd person. Hell, three days after Harry turned up, a suitcase floated in that had conveniently housed clothing and shoes that fit Harry perfectly. Bizarre isn’t remotely close to the word Harry should be using. 

“Yeah, true. Never really believed in all those weird conspiracy theories, like the Bermuda Triangle and that, but, well, makes you think eh?” Niall stares unseeing into the fire, focused on a fixed point with a glazed-over look. “I also kinda... keep thinking... why me?” he says quietly, almost to himself. 

Harry waits for Niall to finish his thought and shake himself out of it before responding. “What d’you mean?”

This time Niall looks at Harry directly. “Like, why have I been brought here. Everyone else seems to have a purpose.”

“A purpose?”

“Everyone else has a skill here, a value. Look at Liam. We wouldn’t have a proper shelter and beds if it wasn’t for him and his knowledge of knots and support structures. Liam basically designed our camp and got me out from sleeping under a tree on the beach.” Niall grabs a large stick and stokes the fire. 

“And Louis and Zayn?”

“Zayn brought us fire, we didn’t have a clue how to make one before he got here, and Louis, shit, you’ve seen him climb up trees and the sides of rocks, his size and flexibility means he can get to the fruit and food sources we were struggling to. We would have starved without him. It’s like everyone that shows up brings something new that we need.”

“OK, for argument's sake, let’s say I agree with all that, that doesn’t make sense as to why I’m here.”

Niall picks at something on his leg and brushes it off, avoiding Harry’s eye line now. It’s odd, seeing him in this manner. He’s always so set, so dependable, what you see is what you get. Harry loves that, that when it comes to Niall there is zero bullshit, no reading between the lines. But now he’s unsure of himself and it’s jarring. “You think any of us knew how to gut a fish or sew up a wound or get rid of a fucking snake out the hut before you showed up?”

Harry can’t help but chuckle at the memory of all the lads screaming the place down when Zayn found a six-foot-long boa constrictor under his hammock one afternoon and they instructed, with varying degrees of hysteria, for Dr. Harry Dolittle to ‘deal with it’. “Uh, well…”

“See?”

“You’re completely underestimating yourself, Niall.”

“Doubtful,” he snorts. 

Harry twists round to face Niall head-on and waits until Niall is looking at him properly. “First off, you survived on your own for two months. Two whole months. All of us have said that we don’t know how you managed, because we couldn’t, we would have given up or at least gone loopy with it. And now? You still keep us going. Your humour and positivity, your level-headedness, it stops us from imploding. Do you know how many arguments you’ve prevented just by cracking a joke, or encouraging someone to take a breath? You can’t put a value on what you do for us lot Niall, it’s priceless.”

“You really think that?” Niall asks, his eyes wide and unsure. 

Harry reaches forward and shakes Niall’s knee affectionately. “Absolutely.”

A small smile spreads on Niall’s mouth. “Thanks, man.” 

“No problem.” 

Niall gets to his feet and collects up his bottle of water from where it had been sitting on the ground beside him. He drains it of the remaining liquid before moving across the clearing and adding it to the pile of others that will need to be filled back up from the spring in the morning. “Think I might head to bed. You coming?”

“I’ll be in in a bit.”

*****

“Psst.”

Harry ignores it at first. Five weeks in and he’s learnt that there’s always weird noises at night. If you listen to them too hard you could freak yourself out. 

“Psst. Curly.”

Harry turns his head round to see Louis staring expectedly at him from where he’s lying in his own hammock a few feet away. There’s not a lot of light in here but the moon is full tonight and there is just enough to see the shadows highlight Louis’ jawline and nose and brow, his eyes twinkling. 

“You warm enough?” Louis whispers, clearly assuming he now has Harry’s full attention. Harry’s not sure what to make of the question, looking down at the blanket covering from his feet up to his chest, then back over to Louis. 

Harry blinks. “Uh, yeah?”

“Oh, ok, that’s cool. That’s good,” Louis mutters in the same hushed tone. One of the other boys' shifts around, snuffling and groaning a little, Harry and Louis’ heads flicking momentarily towards the sound before the person settles again. Liam, Harry reckons. “Just, uh, if you aren’t, I could get you an extra blanket? Or something?”

Harry shakes his head. “No, I’m fine Louis. Thanks for asking though.”

“Cool.” Louis shifts so he’s lying on his back and puts his hands behind his head. Harry takes in his profile for a moment as he stares at the ceiling, admiring the delicate lines. “You can tell me you know?” he starts again. “If you’re cold. Anytime.”

Harry pulls at his covers, up over his shoulders. The temperatures never drop that far even at night time, and he wasn’t cold, but now that Louis’ keeps mentioning it... “I will.”

Louis sighs, his chest deflating noticeably. Hmm. Something else is going on here, why the sudden interest in Harry’s body temperature?

“Louis?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you cold?”

“I’m ok,” he tells Harry. “I guess,” he adds, almost as an afterthought. 

“Do you want _ me _ to get _ you _ a spare blanket?”

Louis clears his throat. “Oh, that wasn’t why I was offering, like, I wasn’t hinting at you, um, I just thought if you were cold, then I could um, that we could uh-”

“Oh for the love of all that is holy on this godforsaken sand trap!” Liam shouts suddenly. Harry near jumps out his skin at the sheer volume of Liam’s voice coming from the darkness. “If you want to have a cuddle with Harry, just fucking ask him. The rest of us are trying to sleep.”

Harry’s eyes widen as Louis hisses into the shadows. “Lee-yuuuuum.” Louis squirms around and huffs, stretching out over the side of his hammock and picking up something solid near his head, hurling it across the space. The resounding thud and accompanying grunt indicates Louis’ made an impact with his intended target. He turns back to Harry. “I wasn’t, um, you know, that wasn’t what I, uh-”

“Louis?”

“Yeah?”

“I’d like a cuddle.”

“Oh.”

Harry lifts up the side of his blanket in invitation, letting the cold air in. He shivers, but it’s probably not all down to the breeze and partly down to the anticipation fizzing in him now. Louis sighs again, a happy one this time. He clambers his way out of his own hammock and shuffles slowly across the ground over to Harry’s. It’s too slow, the way he moves. Not hesitant, more _ hesitating _to show just how not hesitant he is, and Harry can’t keep the smile from his face as he manoeuvres himself to make room for Louis to lie down. He does so with his back to Harry, warm and soft as he presses himself right up against Harry’s chest and encourages Harry’s arm around his middle, lacing their fingers together. They don’t say another word and it doesn’t take long for their breathing to sync up and Harry to slip into a deep sleep. 

Harry wakes up with Louis’ face pressed into his neck and their legs entwined. It’s a nice way to start the day. 

*****

“Does it ever make you feel small? Insignificant?” Liam questions from where he’s lying side by side with Harry on the clifftop. Harry had been pointing out constellations to him and explaining the origins and mythology behind them, something Liam knew next to nothing about. He might have just been humouring Harry but he’d seemed intrigued. That’s probably what Harry likes most, he’s motivated, interested, always wants to better things, including himself. 

“Space? Not at all,” Harry tells him firmly. 

“Why not?”

“The universe is infinite, which means there are infinite possibilities.”

Liam chuckles. “What you on about?” 

“So, I’m here right? But up there, _ out _there, there’s an infinite number of planets just like this one, with infinite versions of me, which means infinite possibilities for things to happen to me. It’s exciting, kinda like you’ve got all these chances to get things right.”

Liam sits up on his elbows so he can look at Harry with narrowed eyes. “That’s a really weird way to look at things.” 

Harry runs a hand through his hair. It’s getting pretty long now, curling at the base of his neck having not been cut in a while. The other boys have had theirs trimmed with a razor found in some luggage but Harry’s decided to leave his for the time being. “We’re a bunch of circus rejects stranded on a desert island,” Harry points out. “Weird doesn’t cover it.” 

Liam falls back to his original position. “You think we all end up together on another planet then?”

“Yeah for sure. But maybe, you know, we’re all doctors in a hospital, or we’re sheep farmers on top of a mountain, or we’re all put together in a boyband as teenagers and go on to become global superstars performing to hundreds of thousands of screaming fans every night.” Harry daydreams a lot, always has, was often told as a kid that he had ‘quite the imagination’, but being here has meant his daydreams can get quite ridiculous. 

“Boyband eh? That could be kinda cool,” Liam comments demurely.

“Less sand finding its way into your arse crack anyways.”

Liam laughs loudly and Harry can’t help but join him, their giggling ringing out into the cool night air. 

“Can I tell you a secret?” 

Harry nods. “Course.”

Liam breathes in deeply, like he’s preparing himself for something big. “I like it here. I know I shouldn’t, I know everyone wants to leave, but I think we’ve got it pretty good.” He says it like it’s a proper confession, something he’s been struggling with for a while and is relieved to finally get off his chest.

Harry contemplates him for a beat. “Zayn wants to leave?” he questions. 

“I think so. I don’t really know. We don’t really talk about it, about what might happen if we get off the island,” Liam explains. “I don’t know about him, but I suppose I’m scared that it’s a convenience thing for him, like I’m the best of a bad bunch or something and he’s not that into me?” Harry doesn’t need to be looking at Liam’s face to know there’s doubt etched all over it. God knows why, Zayn’s completely besotted with Liam and it’s plain for anyone to see. 

“I really don’t think you have anything to worry about, you guys are gonna be just fine whatever happens.”

Liam hums but doesn’t press the issue; Harry’s either given him the answer he wants or he’s decided not to dig and possibly get the answer he doesn’t. “What about you and Louis?”

Harry should have seen the question coming, it’s been on the horizon for weeks, but it’s still a bit of a surprise that he’s been asked so directly. “What about us?”

“Well, the nightly hammock sleepovers and chronic schoolboy flirting are all very nice and that, but you should probably try and put one on him. He’s getting a bit restless about it.”

Harry laughs, a nervous flutter in his belly. He’s thought about it, thinks about it often, him and Louis, and if you want to talk about daydream fodder, Louis’ been quite the source of inspiration for Harry lately, but it’s something else entirely to hear from another person that it might be within the realm of possibility. “Noted,” is all Harry says though, doesn’t want to give the game away just yet, not until he’s got all his ducks in a row, so to speak. 

Liam must understand since he changes the subject. “You wanna head back?”

“Nah, let’s stay a bit longer, make them miss us a bit more, eh?” Harry suggests with a grin. 

*****

“Curly,” Louis says, somewhere between concerned and exasperated, “this is definitely not the way to the gorge.”

“I know, but I don’t exactly have a map,” Harry says to the back of Louis’ head. They’re trudging through vegetation that has clearly never had a human cross over it and neither of them has recognised anything in what feels like a long time. Maybe going for a little romantic exploring session hadn’t been Harry’s best idea for a potential first date. The only saving grace is that Louis doesn’t know it’s their first date yet. 

Louis stops dead and Harry doesn’t notice until he ploughs straight into his back. “What the f-”

“Shut up,” Louis whispers. 

“Why, what-”

Louis spins around and clamps his hands over Harry’s lips. “You hear that?” he mouths silently. 

Harry strains but it takes no more than a second and a half for Harry to zero in on exactly what Louis is referring to. It’s a sound that Harry is all too familiar with, one he would recognise anywhere, and it makes his blood run cold in an instant. 

Harry swallows as his heartbeat begins to jackrabbit in his chest, and slowly pulls Louis’ hands away, pointing at Louis, and then at the tree behind him, mouthing the word ‘up’ at him. Louis shakes his head, clearly terrified, but Harry pushes him towards it, trying his best to be as quiet as he can. Not that it matters. The noise is loud enough that Harry knows perfectly well the source is too close to not know they’re there.

Harry shoves Louis up against the trunk of the tree and crouches to give him a foot up, but Louis’ Louis and he jumps up and grabs the first branch too easily and hoists himself up. Harry turns back, trying to figure out which direction the low rumbling is coming from but the blood and adrenaline and fear is rushing in his ears and confusing him. He feels a hand on his shoulder and when he looks up, Louis’ hanging upside down and motioning for Harry to take his hands.

Harry shakes his head at him but Louis starts grabbing at his t-shirt anyway, trying to haul him up. Harry’s eyes dart around for any sign of movement. It’s silent now which he knows is worse, the possibility that he’s being stalked greatly increasing. 

“Please,” Louis begs, and Harry gives in, letting Louis yank him upwards, enough to get a grip on the branch and pull himself up. They both right themselves just as there’s a rustling and a flurry of beige flashing across the ground below them. 

“Higher!” Harry tells him and they scramble further upwards, the branches creaking beneath their hands and feet as they climb until they’re twenty feet above the ground. When Harry’s confident Louis’ safe, for now, he finally lets himself catch a proper breath.

Harry looks down and he’s met with the vision of tawny yellow again, this time a lot more clear.

“It’s a fucking lion!” Louis hisses from beside him. 

“I can fucking see that, Lou.” 

“It’s going to eat us.” Louis’ panting, squirming around, trying to get a better look and it’s too distracting. 

Harry places a hand on Louis’ arm. “It’s not going to eat you, can you let me think? I need to think.”

It does nothing to alleviate Louis’ panicking, which is a hundred times worse than it was during the snake incident, understandably. “What the fuck are we going to do? Oh my god, I don’t want to die getting mauled by a lion.”

“Louis, love, you need to breathe for me, can you do that?” Harry reaches out and takes Louis’ hand, gripping it tight. “Look at me. Follow me,” he instructs, motioning for Louis to mimic his deep breath in, then out, then in again, and out. Louis’ distracted, trying to look down at the lion that’s pacing around the bottom of the tree, but he eventually does as he’s told and copies Harry until their breathing slows down to a more respectable level. 

“Harry, seriously. What are we going to do?” 

“I, fuck, uh-” Keep Louis safe, just keep Louis safe. Must keep Louis safe. It’s all Harry can think.

“It’s stopped.”

“What?”

“It’s stopped, it’s just sitting there.”

Harry follows Louis’ gaze, suddenly aware that Louis’ practically in his lap now. He studies the beast. She’s big, older, well-fed. She’s also branded. Branded? Harry squints. Jesus Christ. 

“That’s mine.”

“What?”

“That’s, holy shit, that’s my lion, that’s Sascha.”

“How the hell would your lion be here?”

“Probably the same reason I am.” Harry shimmies Louis off and makes to climb back down but Louis squawks and fists at Harry’s t-shirt.

“Please don’t leave me.”

Harry cups Louis’ cheek and kisses his forehead. “It’s ok, I promise. You trust me right?”

Louis nods but he grabs at Harry’s neck and pulls him in. Harry’s got no warning before Louis’ lips are on his and the air is knocked out of his lungs.

As first kisses go, it’s pretty epic, swoon-worthy if you will, all soft, sweet mouth that’s hungry and demanding, and satisfying beyond measure. It’s tongues and hands, it’s bodies pressed close and hot breaths and God it’s so fucking good and so fucking overdue but there’s a lion to deal with and a boy to save and yeah.

“That was uh, in case you die. Didn’t want to miss out,” Louis says when they’ve pulled away, cheeks pink. 

Harry’s nerves are officially shot to hell. What a three minutes. “I’ll be right back,” he grins.

Once Harry’s reacquainted himself with Sascha, who greets him happily, and sends her off back into the jungle, Harry manages to convince Louis to come back down the tree and into his arms. 

Their second kiss is just as good as their first. 

*****

Harry knows cliff diving can be a scary prospect but he didn’t think it was tear-inducing. 

“Louis, are you ok?”

“Yeah, just a feeling a bit homesick,” he sniffs, rubbing his eyes as Harry sits beside him at the water’s edge. “I don’t get it, how you’re ok with being stuck here. Don’t you miss home? Your family? Friends?”

Harry takes Louis’ hand in his and watches as Zayn takes a running jump from the ledge above them into the depths below. “Kinda hard to miss something you’ve never had.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve never had a home, or a family, or even that many friends,” Harry tells him quietly, squeezing tighter. It’s been three months since he set foot on this island and he knows it’s time to tell Louis everything. The list of things he loves about Louis is long, but that’s Harry’s absolute favourite, how he’s willing to be vulnerable around Harry and Harry knows he owes him the same. “Truth is, I grew up in an orphanage, then in foster homes, then I ran off at fifteen and lived on the street for a while. One night, a guy stumbled out of a pub and I asked him for some spare change. He told me he’d do one better and give me fifty quid if I could muck out some animal cages for him while he slept his hangover over off the next morning. And that was it, been on the road ever since. He took me on as his assistant the very next day and put a roof over my head, albeit a caravan roof, and when he retired two years later, the circus kept me on and put me in charge. I had just turned twenty. This is the first time in my life I’ve stayed in one place for longer than a month.”

Louis’ mouth hangs open until he comes to his senses. “Harry. That’s… fuck. I don’t even know what to say.”

“It’s alright, you don’t have to say anything and you definitely don’t need to look at me like that. And yeah, I miss some home comforts; a proper mattress, a nice cup of tea in the morning, a good fish supper, but all this,” he gestures with his hand to everything around him, “this isn’t a shabby place to end up.”

“You really think so?”

“Yup.” Harry tugs at Louis until Louis shifts to straddle Harry’s lap and wraps his arms around Harry’s neck. “No bosses to answer to, no alarms to set. Don’t have to worry about money and bills, or any general life shit that people stuck back in Blighty do. I get to wake up in the arms of someone I’m crazy about and spend my days in the sun with a bunch of amazing lads I get to call my best mates, maybe even my family, and live every day like we’re on fucking holiday, collecting firewood and foraging for food aside. I’m living the dream.”

Louis’ smile is dazzling. “Even when you wake up with my elbow in your face?”

“Especially then. You have lovely elbows.” Harry rubs at them as if to prove a point. 

“Urgh, you are such an idiot. I can’t believe I’ve fallen in love with you.” Louis kisses Harry softly on the mouth before shuffling around and wrapping Harry’s arms securely around his middle. “Oi, lads!”

Zayn, Liam and Niall all stop splashing and jumping around in the water and turn to look in Louis and Harry’s direction. “Yeah?” Liam shouts back.

“What would you think about, maybe, not uh, trying to get rescued any more?”

The three of them glance at each other briefly, having a silent conversation before turning back. Zayn runs his palm down his wet face then up through his hair to push the damp strands up off his forehead. “Louis, we stopped caring about getting rescued weeks and weeks ago. We just wanted to keep you happy.” 

Louis wriggles back down, burrowing himself even further into Harry’s lap. “Oh don’t worry, I am.”

*****

“Harry! Louis! Come ‘ere!” 

“Ignore them,” Louis whispers immediately against Harry’s jawline as his hands trail lower and lower on Harry’s naked skin, reaching the waistband of the shorts he’s unfortunately still wearing. Harry thinks he should have taken them off before they got in the hammock, but in his defence, Louis had said they were going to nap, not get it on. 

Harry keeps his eyes closed as he basks in the feel of Louis’ lips on his skin, tickling down his throat. It feels so good, if Louis’ hand could just…

“Guys! Come on!”

Harry winces noticeably and opens his mouth to say something but Louis silences him by gently squeezing on his inner thigh and releasing a soft hiss through his own teeth. “They’ll fuck off eventually.” 

“If you don’t come out, we’ll come in!”

Louis groans as he lifts his head, turning it towards the entrance of the hut. “Give us five minutes would you?” he shouts. Harry coughs and raises an eyebrow when Louis gazes down at him and smirks. “Actually make that ten!”

“No, guys, you need to see this!”

Louis sighs and pecks Harry’s mouth once, then again. “To be continued,” he assures him as he rolls off and lands unsteadily on his feet. Louis picks up his t-shirt from the floor and shakes it out before pulling it on over his head and bending down again to retrieve Harry’s for him, throwing it on top of his chest where he remains lying in the hammock. “You coming then?”

“Well that had been the hope, yeah,” Harry pouts, looking down at his lap. Louis cackles and shakes his head but Louis can’t hide the flush of his chest and the unsubtle rearranging of his own dick before walking forward to collect his shoes and slip them on.

When they walk out into the clearing, they're greeted by the sight of Liam and Zayn with a stranger. He’s seated but Harry can tell he’s tall, has a solid frame under the shirt he’s still wearing despite it being soaking wet. He looks young too, fresh-faced in a way Harry doesn’t recognise any more having been surrounded by nothing but bearded men for near enough four months now. 

“Guys,” Liam begins, resting a comforting hand on the guy’s shoulder. “This is Shawn. Shawn, this is Louis and Harry.”

“Hi, Shawn. How are you?” Louis asks gently. Harry reaches out and squeezes his hand, recognising the difference in reaction to a newbie instantly. Louis has come so far in the time they have known each other. 

Shawn smiles meekly at them. “A bit freaked out I guess, this whole thing is so nuts.” 

“You’re not British?” Harry comments, rather dumbly, as he steps forward to introduce himself with a handshake. “Sorry, that was, sorry.”

“No, it’s fine, I’m from Ontario, in Canada, but I had been living in Florida for a while and was in the processing of moving when, well, this all happened.” 

“And you’re a…”

“An escapologist,” Zayn answers on his behalf when Shawn looks nothing but bewildered. Harry nods in understanding. 

“Where were you moving to?” Louis asks, coming to sit down on Shawn’s right. 

“Oh, Ireland. Dublin to be exact. I have some distant relatives and always wanted to go and live there.” 

Harry shares a knowing grin with each of the other lads then turns back to Shawn. “Say, Shawn, what’re your thoughts on clowns?”

“Clowns?” Shawn frowns, obviously thrown by the sudden change in conversation. “Uh, well I’ve always thought they get a bit of a hard time? But like, they’re the light comedic relief between acts and they keep the momentum going, they’re really important! Well, at least in my circus they were…” he trails off, suddenly shy.

Just as Harry opens his mouth to say something, Niall returns into the clearing, lugging a load of firewood in his arms. Everyone turns to stare at him. 

“Alright, Nialler?” Louis says loudly. “We’ve got someone here you’re gonna need to meet.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Comments are always welcome and responded to.
> 
> I have a Tumblr which is [here](http://runaway-train-works.tumblr.com) if you want to come say hello. The specific post for the fic is [here](https://runaway-train-works.tumblr.com/post/188493263020/its-a-never-ending-helter-skelter-written-as-part) if you want to be an absolute babe and give it a share.


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